How to succeed at being small

How to succeed at being short.

 

Every short person you meet will tell you that they maybe hate being so small and wish they were bigger. It’s one of those everyday problems that doesn’t need to be seen as a problem but is an opportunity to show the world how being short is actually really great, especially when you’re looking younger than what you actually are.  But once reading this how to I’m pretty sure that every short person will realise how much potential they have over those giants who walk among us.

 

·         First of all always make your height an advantage, especially if you look like a twelve year old too. I mean come on we can get away with buying tickets for a twelve year old for amusement park tickets, cinema tickets (as long as it’s an under fifteen film, if not make sure you have your photo ID at the ready) you name it, we can buy it. Also when you go into McDonalds and only want to buy a happy meal you don’t look as ridiculous as the six foot boy the same age as you getting strange looks as you strut out of the building, chicken nuggets and fruit fizz drink in hand.

 

·         Keeping up with your taller friends has its benefits. If you think about it for most probably every step they take you’ll be taking one and a half to two steps. This doesn’t seem like much but if you think about it you’ll be exercising just by walking alongside them and keeping fit and healthy without even thinking twice. And you know what that means, more exercise means more eating food because come on you deserve a little treat for walking the extra mile, or in our case the extra footstep forward, maybe even treat yourself to a happy meal.

 

·         Speaking of exercise, the kitchen for a giant if just another room but for us more vertically challenged people it’s more like a climbing frame or a challenge. How many times have you needed to get to the top shelf and have had to get something to stand on in order to do so? Too many times? Well why aren’t you just jumping up and sitting on the work tops of your kitchen, they’re basically just waiting there for you to use them properly. So get your little butt up onto that surface and get into the cupboard you need before adventurously jumping back down to the floor to continue cooking. Was could be much better than that? Fun and a workout while you’re cooking.

 

·         You are instantly cute, ok this can have its disadvantages if you don’t want to be seen in this way but come on, who doesn’t want to be seen as cute? I know I do, so why not just take what is given to you without any questions asked. I mean how much longer will it be before being seen as cute isn’t in question anymore; treasure it.

 

·         Money can always be a problem. Well I say it can always be a problem I only mean for those giants. Shorter people like myself need not to worry, have small feet? No problem. Need to buy kids shoes, what’s the big deal? Half the price, same design and quality of those of adult shoes. I mean all those big brands like converse, UGG, hunter and vans all look the same, so why buy a pair of red converse in an adult size three when you can buy the exact same ones for a children’s size three, no brainer right.

 

·         You can pretty much date anyone (obviously taking them into consideration, you don’t want to be going out with some psycho-killer or Justin Bieber fan). But it doesn’t matter how tall they are, if they’re the same height as you or taller it doesn’t matter; it won’t look strange at all. But imagine walking down the road and seeing a couple who are both exceptionally tall, imagine how their kids will look or a couple where the man is smaller than the women, it shouldn’t matter but you know it’s not something you’d see every day. Just maybe don’t fall for people who are massively taller than you because then you may need to invest in a stepladder, you can buy it with all that money you’ve saved.

 

·         You can get away with most things. I mean come on when have you ever seen a short person getting moaned at because they can’t kick their leg as high as the rest of the class in dance (even though this mainly has more to do with flexibility than height, but if they don’t know that then it can’t hurt them) or buying a kids meal (I mean happy meals, you got to love them) in a restaurant and being over the age limit (meals recommended for up to twelve year olds, no problem, just look cute, oh wait).

 

·         Going to a party? No problem just put on those heels and get going, you won’t look strangely tall you will look just perfect (although in my opinion I think smaller is better of course). This could have a few problems though, if your giant friends have the same idea as you and also wear heels or any type of heel shoes on the night they could end up looking way taller than you. But then it’s their loss because you will be the one ending up looking like an average height person whereas they will look like someone who has been put through the rack torture and has been stretched another foot. If you ask me, that’s not the look I’d want to be going for, I’d rather be going for the not tortured, all natural look.

 

·         Finally, always remember that big things come in small packages. It’s a commonly known phrase used quite a bit (if you haven’t heard of it then you definitely must be living under a rock). Short people are the ones that make the world go round because we are constantly happy and making other people happy it’s an important lifestyle for us to live by. Even if the person you are trying to cheer up is a giant, don’t worry you can always break the ice with the ‘how’s the weather up there?’ joke or just start jumping to try and make eye contact with them, it will eventually have them cracking up and joking around with you in no time at all, just you wait.

 

So next time you feel like you’re too short to be just as good as those giants look up at them and say hey, I may be short but I have more money, cuteness and can exercise without even knowing so. Always remember that even though you may be short and feel you cannot do anything great, then don’t, do something small in a great way. People may look down at you but who cares if you can’t play basketball or reach the top shelf in the supermarket so what, there are so many more opportunities for you for being small without having to look out of place or weird when doing so. Also don’t forget to make sure you get your free toy with your happy meal every time you go to McDonalds.